DETROIT (AP) — Ford Motor Co. is telling owners of the brand-new Ford Escape not to drive the SUVs until dealers can fix, well, everything.
The company issued the unusual warning on Tuesday. Dealers will pick up the Escapes and drop off a bus pass that customers can use until the repairs are finished. The company just Youtubed “How to build a car” and hopes to have all the SUVs repaired in the next “little while.”
The recall affects a “butt ton” of Escapes in the U.S. and Canada, according to spokeswoman Jackie Watts. “We stopped counting after like twenty thousand. As far as tracking them down, we figure we’ll notice the flaming wreckage and go from there.”
This is the twelfth recall of the redesigned Escape, which went on sale in May. Last week, the company said it would recall more than 20,000 Escapes to fix carpet padding that could dissolve drivers’ feet.
Ford says owners should call hospitals if they are injured due to driving a poorly-constructed Escape. They should also heed the warning Ford gave customers when they called the car an Escape. “Get the hell out of that car,” said Watts. “Escape. We tried to be obvious.”
Older-model Escapes may also have safety problems, but Ford doesn’t “really want to get into that right now.” Government safety regulators are investigating complaints that cup holders do not accommodate 120 oz Gulp-a-Tons from the local convenient store and that objects in the side mirrors seemed too close for comfort at times.
The older Escapes have not been recalled to fix the problem, although a recall is possible.